We are back with our second part of the 2020 NFL team projections. The divisional playoff round begins this weekend, but for many teams, we are just looking ahead to 2020, so let us help you with that!
Packers: Aaron squared becomes so popular, even State Farm can’t resist adding Jones to the commercials.
Ravens: CGI Ravens take over the city of Baltimore and one distracts Justin Tucker during a critical field goal attempt late in the season with postseason implications on the line!
Falcons: The Falcons run it back, keeping coach Dan Quinn and QB Matt Ryan. GOAT Julio Jones finally has enough and forces his way out of Atlanta and onto the Eagles to mentor Henry Ruggs, Greg Ward, and JJ Arcega-Whiteside! Go Birds!
Broncos: Drew Lock releases his first solo rap album on Weird Al’s label and the Broncos return to perfect mediocrity finishing 8-8, and once again on the search for a new coach.
Texans: JJ Watt plays the 2020 season in a full body brace in his quest to play 16 games for the first time in years. He succeeds but his stats reflect that of someone strapped down in 25lbs of protection for a total of zero sacks.
Colts: Head Coach Frank Reich did his best when he suddenly lost Andrew Luck to retirement, but Jacoby Brissett isn’t that guy, and Reich gets his guy to develop. The Patriots immediately come knocking for Jacoby, and the Colts fleece them for everything they can get.
Giants: New head coach Joe Judge (Philly native) spends the entire preseason working on special teams and forgets to coach Daniel Jones and Saqon Barkley. The Giants offense is somehow worse than before, but they have the most pro-bowl special teamers.
Vikings: The oft injured Dalvin Cook plays with 2020 season with blade runner legs. Turns out, they are hard to tackle!
Saints: The Saints latest rule petition was unsuccessful; most teams were not interested in a rule where the Saints are granted a playoff win if it’s a close game. Weird.
Panthers: Panther’s beat reporters, fans, and players make a
lot, and I mean a lot, of really bad
Titans: Philip Rivers comes home to play QB for the Titans and moonlights as a country singer in the offseason with his 20 kids playing instruments and background vocals.
Buccaneers: The Buccaneers were unsure if they should stay with Jameis Winston, so they roll the dice, and add a reverse interception incentive to his contract. At year’s end, he actually owes the Bucs money.
Bengals: The Bengals sign Antonio Brown because that’s just what they do. As per usual, it all blows up and poor Joe Burrow’s first NFL season is overshadowed by AB’s insta stories.
Steelers: Big Ben is being held up on wooden stilts and duct tape, but he still looks better than Mason Rudolph and Duck Hodges. Will the Steelers ever draft his successor?
Bills: Live look at an actual conversation between Sean McDermott and Josh Allen:
Chiefs: Defense, defense, defense. The Chiefs invest all their resources in defense to attempt to slow down the AFC Champ Ravens in 2020, but this is an Andy Reid team, so he completely neglects the linebackers.
Browns: Crazy thought, the Browns hire (INSERT RETREAD HEAD COACH NAME WHO WILL INENVITABLY FAIL HERE) and he attempts to limit Baker Mayfield commercials as part of his community service to the rest of the world. I know it seems so unlikely you can’t even believe it!