Each week in the NFL we are fully entertained by the slate of games provided, and week 5 certainly did not disappoint. Thursday was a fantasy owner’s dream in a high scoring affair between the Seahawks and the Rams. Is Gurley finally goin’ wild? Is Russell Wilson actually playable again? All signs point to yes for both, for now. On Sunday we watched Ravens K Justin Tucker miss a field goal that then somehow took a right turn and went through the uprights for a huge overtime victory against the rival Steelers. The team from Pittsburgh lost replacement QB Mason Rudolph to a scary injury, but due to the lack of a cart, the poor dude had to walk off the field instead of catching a ride…good thing his spine is okay? Like WHAT? Baker Mayfield has made himself fully droppable in most fantasy leagues and 49ers RB Matt Breida reached 22.3 MPH as he ran by the entire Browns team.
The real stars of Sunday were the 5 players that all put their teams on their back (ouch) and ran up at least 40 fantasy points (depending on your league scoring, probably even more):
Packers RB Aaron Jones-Jones single handedly beat the Cowboys, sending Jason Garrett into the blindest rage of all time. He also waved goodbye to a Cowboy as he scored, and for that I will be eternally grateful:
The Packers have been looking at the Cowboys like this all night pic.twitter.com/ByUG3D9jcC— Belly Up Football 🏈 (@BellyUpFootball) October 6, 2019
Texans WR Will Fuller- Fuller has always shown flashes of insane brilliance when he is healthy and especially since he started catching passes from Watson, but week 5, well that was next level. Fuller’s day ended with 217 yards and 3 TDs (I played against him this weekend, how fun!) but what’s really scary is what his day could have been…
Will Fuller got tackled in the 1 yard line TWICE today.— Michael Liu (@MiKeMeUpP) October 6, 2019
He was 2 yards away from a 14 catches for 220 yards and 5 TD day.
Let that sink in…
Panthers RB Christian McCaffrey- M V P, that’s all.
Texans QB Deshaun Watson- Mahomes gets all the love, but Watson is right there with him. Watson giving his review of the defensive scheme has become “his thing” as demonstrated below:
Deshaun Watson’s treatise on the Atlanta Falcons defense, as requested @billbarnwell pic.twitter.com/3JyfYMmMoI— Rivers McCown (@riversmccown) October 6, 2019
Saints WR Michael Thomas- Different (lesser) QB, same result.
Notably missing from the top scorer list is Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes, who went up against a feisty Colts team led by beast RB Marlon Mack and early coach of the year candidate (and Philadelphia darling) Frank Reich. The Chiefs fell to the Colts on Sunday Night Football in the upset of the weekend!
Eagles QB Carson Wentz didn’t put up a stellar fantasy stat line, but he still made plenty of magic on the field en route to an easy (boring?) win:
Matrix style video of Carson Wentz ducking a sack/clothesline 🔥🔥#HowDidHeDoThat pic.twitter.com/W4fvpikGAF— John Clark (@JClarkNBCS) October 6, 2019
The Eagles defense racked up 10 sacks and 2 defensive scores on the hapless N.Y. Jets led by Luke Falk (who stepped in to literally save Sam Darnold’s life, because if he played his spleen would have definitely exploded). Down both starting corners, the Eagles turned to veteran Orlando Scandrick (who was with them in training camp) and I must say, with 2 sacks, a forced fumble, fumble recovery, and TD (aka he stole the ball from Falk and scored), it’s his best work since he made an appearance on Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing, where his manager wouldn’t let him buy an expensive house! The Eagles defense was my highest scorer in one of my fantasy leagues with 35 points, so let that sink in, Jet’s fans…also is Adam Gase THE WORST or what?
If you haven’t been paying attention, the Dallas Cowboys started the season 3-0 and were Super Bowl bound after beating 3 of the worst teams in the NFL. Fast forward 2 weeks and the Cowboys have now suffered losses to the Saints and this week the Packers, so how are people feeling about Dak today? (this was my favorite tweet from the weekend from blog supporter, and 4th and Jawn writer Chris Mallee). I speak for everyone across the country when I say, Carson > Dak.
Dakkkkkkkkkkkkk pic.twitter.com/dClVObgpUs— Chris Mallee (@mallee_chris_24) October 6, 2019
In Bravo adjacent news, if you feel compelled to choose a side (in addition to Dak vs. Carson), decide between former RHOB star (and current Vanderpump Rules star?) and successful actress Sarah Paulson:
'RHOBH' Star Lisa Vanderpump Accuses Sarah Paulson of Attempting to 'Sully' Her Reputation, Wants Her to Offer Details of "Not Nice" Encounter #RHOBH #LisaVanderpump #SarahPaulson https://t.co/DfyHRTNvvK— Real Housewives (@RHOGossip) October 6, 2019
Eagles D omg!!!! Let Chef Nick know I made the sausage dip for the second time this weekend and kept it warm in my football crock pot! Was amazing yet again!